The Host Club's Trip to the Cinema!
by EternalEarth
Summary: A one-shot. The Host Club take a chaotic trip to the local cinema, much to the dispair of Haruhi. Just a fun little story I wrote; yeah, I'm not the best at summaries.


**A silly little Host Club one-shot that I have had buzzing around my brain for a while. I wrote it for fun, and I thought I would share it with you. I will be happy even if you consider it to be vaguely entertaining... It's a little crappy, but review anyway. **

**Disclaimer: Surprisingly, I still don't own Ouran High School Host Club. **

A disturbance of epic proportions was unfolding in the lobby of the local cinema. The arrival of 'rich people' was always bound to cause a stir. However, earlier, Tamaki had expressed a desire to 'blend in with the common folk'. Apparently this did not stretch to their transport (a large, stretched limo that took up 4 spaces in the car-park, much to the annoyance of rest the cinema-goers), their clothing (all club members bristling with designer labels), their entourage (consisting of several thick-set men, who looked as if they would be more comfortable dressed in sumo mawashis) and their loud exclamations of 'Oh, so it's true! Commoners really do have to queue for the toilets!'

'Eh, Tamaki. I think you have already drawn enough attention yourself without buying out half the food-stand', said Haruhi, gesturing to the blonde's laden-down arms.

Tamaki gave an excited little laugh.

'Don't be silly! This isn't just for me... It's for everyone. I hear it's popular amongst the common folk to fill yourself with E-numbers whilst watching films!'

Haruhi gave a sigh and looked around at the other members. Hikaru and Kaoru were helping Tamaki clear the shelves, Kyoya was sitting on a bench with a weary expression on his face and Hunny was busy trying to convince the cinema-clerk that he was old enough to see a fifteen-film. Mori was standing next to him, making encouraging noises.

'Look! I've got my passport! It states my birth-year very clearly', shouted Hunny, uncharacteristically exasperated.

The clerk frowned.

'I may have to check with my manager'

It was Hunny's turn to look confused.

'Why? I brought passport so I could prove my age! What was the point if you're going to ignore it?'

After several irritating minutes that involved Hunny waving any piece of identification he had under the clerks nose, the entire Host Club were finally allowed into their film.

They navigated their way up the dark steps and squeezed past a family, who politely stood up to let them through. Haruhi sat down, deserving of a rest. The Host Club, meanwhile, were working out how the chairs operated; they seemed mystified by the complex 'foldy chair' system.

'Huh? Where is the part you sit on? Are you supposed to balance?'

'Oh, wow look! You pull this bit down'

'Oh yeah'

'Ow!'

'What's the matter?'

'It sprung back when I tried to sit...'

'Maybe it's hungry...'

'What's wrong with all of you; you're supposed to hold it until you are sitting'

'Good idea Kyoya... Hold this a moment Haruhi', said Tamaki, dumping the pile of cinema sweets into her arms.

Haruhi started to feel a little embarrassed. By now her friends were starting to get a few worried and amused looks from those around them, and hushed mutters of 'they must be foreigners'.

When all of the Host Club had completed the highly challenging task of sitting, Hunny announced loudly;

'I need the toilet. Oh, excuse me' he said pointedly to the family to his left. Sighing, they all stood up again. Hunny sidled past them and charged down the steps.

Suddenly a dramatic noise swelled from the wall speakers and the much-loved cinema adverts began.

Tamaki looked puzzled. 'Is this the film?' he whispered to Haruhi. 'It doesn't look much like the reviews does it?'

Hikaru nodded with agreement at his side, confusedly. 'Yeah. I didn't even know you were allowed to promote liposuction during movies'

Haruhi sighed. 'No, these are the advertisements. And you're not supposed to talk so loudly in a cinema'

Tamaki and Hikaru looked back at her in awe; this concept of 'silence' was a novel idea.

'Where's Hunny?' enquired Kaoru. 'I can't hold his ice-cream forever; it's starting to melt...'

'He's coming back now' came the rare speech of Mori. He was currently sitting in a rather uncomfortable position, knees hunched. Small commoner cinemas were defiantly not ideal for anyone with a bigger shadow than a large office tower.

Forcing the family to stand up yet again, he made his way back to the Host Club.

'Where have you been Hunny?' asked Tamaki.

Hunny frowned. 'The toilet'

Tamaki's eyes widened. 'They have toilets here! I really need to go'

There was a collective groan as everyone impatiently stood up to let him past.

Thud, thud, thud.

Haruhi glanced sideways, past the twins who were currently having an argument about which armrest you should rest your drink in.

'Hunny don't kick the chairs in front of you'

'Oh, sorry'

'I wish the film would hurry up and start. To think I could have spent an extra half-hour in bed this morning', complained Kyoya, his glassing flashing a blue glint, strongly connoting an air of evil.

Haruhi shuddered.

Tamaki returned, and over-apologised to the family, who were forced to continue their impression of a yo-yo.

The next few minutes passed without incident, until Tamaki started impatiently shushing everyone in the rows in front of him.

They turned to glare and complain, but Tamaki gave another loud shush.

'That's what you're supposed to do right?' he inquired to Haruhi.

The girl's response was to sink into her seat, hands cradling her head in a defeated manner.

The twins suddenly stood-up abruptly, their foldy chairs snapping back in unison.

'We need to pee', they declared raucously, fingers raised. They marched in a purposeful manner, in the direction of the toilets. Tutting could be heard to their left. Enemies would be made today.

'Shhhhhhhh', hissed the blonde.

'Erm... They've gone'

'Oh'

Thud, thud, thud.

'Hunny!'

'Geez, I'm sorry. It's hard to stop! Sorry' he added to the angry victims in front. 'You can hold Usa-chan to cheer you up!'

'We have returned' announced the twins, followed by loud shushing from Tamaki. He was really getting into this 'cinema silence' thing.

Tamaki was about reprimand a couple in front of him who were slurping on their drinks too noisily, when the lights dimmed to near-pitch blackness.

'ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH! ITS DARK AND SCARY!' screamed Hunny.

Haruhi sank back into her seat. It was going to be a long day...

_Two hours later, outside the cinema._

'Honestly, what is wrong with all of you? It's just a film. Talk about an over-reaction.', shouted an exasperated Haruhi.

'It was scary!' insisted Tamaki. 'That poor man's daughter almost got run over!'

'Yeah, but that really wasn't a good reason to start hysterically crying' she pointed out.

'Yes it was', sniffed the president.

'Not so loud as to get us thrown out 10 minutes before the end...'

Hunny gave a dismissive shrug. 'It was a rubbish film anyway, plus I almost broke my tooth on a pear-drop...'

'Well, at least there is an upside to all of this', contributed Kyoya.

'Oh, yeah?' asked Haruhi, genuinely curious.

'Tamaki will have a lot of material to paste into his snack-scrapbooks...'

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**Eh, the last line will only make sense if you have read the manga. So, I know it was pretty crappy, but I thought I'd share it anyway. What have I got to lose... I might delete it... Idk.**

**Anyway, please review; be HONEST! **


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